“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
I believe in miracles. I experienced a huge one personally 24 years ago. Something that I was told was physically impossible to happen did, in fact, occur. Miracles often arrive after surrendering to a plan much greater than our will.
This year, for many, it is harder to believe in miracles. For me, and lots of others, I never thought I would be celebrating this holiday season alone, thousands of miles apart from those I love.
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, and even in despair. Let’s stop pretending that all is the same, or all is well as we expected, before the pandemic.
Today, I share, with permission, portions of a newsletter from a respected colleague, Dr, Gary Salyer:
“This is a very different holiday season for most of us. I’m sure you probably already know that. The holidays can be such a season of joy. I’ve had some wonderful ‘Hallmark’ holiday seasons in my life. Yet as we all know, not every season brings peace, togetherness, and joy – this probably being one of them for many of us. I sure know that’s the case for me. So I want to tell you what I’ve learned over the years that has helped me deal with holidays just like this one that are emotionally trying or disappointing.
The key is to realize that the holidays don’t reflect reality as it is- especially our emotional reality. They also don’t tell you the truth about your connections. What’s more true, is the holidays act as an emotional amplifier for whatever feeling we bring into it. If we start out with happiness, we get excitement and joy. In other words, we get ‘Hallmark.’
The opposite is also true too. If we come into the season with sadness, we get grief. If we experience lack of connection – like we are now – we will often feel far lonelier, down, or disappointed than we would on other days of the year.
Why do we feel worse or better than usual? It’s because the holidays act like an emotional amplifier for any feeling that we bring into it.
So how do we handle those ‘other’ holiday moments that you never see on a card? First, realize that these feelings are not ‘you.’ They are amplified feelings based on heightened expectations. Most of all, these amplified feelings are not your truth.
Eventually, the down feelings will pass given time. Given time, things tend to level out in life. I believe that’s still the case even now as well.
Secondly, it’s OK to find the support you need – if not in person then online. Holidays are all about belonging. So, it’s OK to find the people who can support and give the support you need – and that doesn’t always have to be your family. Friends are wonderful places to find support and love during painful holidays. So get on Zoom or Skype and find the support you need.
(Rumor has it Santa has replaced Rudolph with a new reindeer called Zoomer this year. That’s the word on the street! It’s not a bad idea.)
Above all, don’t make yourself wrong for any feeling. One thing I learned a long time ago was that neither the joyous nor the painful holiday experiences defined me. These feelings were but localized experiences in the broader, more uplifting path of my entire life’s purpose and path. So, don’t let any of these feelings define your life or color your future. You can create your own experience – even around the holidays.
If you are close to someone who is experiencing a ‘not so Hallmark’ moment this season, the best gift you can offer them is friendship and support. You can extend the feeling of belonging to someone who needs it, even if they aren’t your real family. When you reach out to someone like this, you give him or her a gift that is truly worthy of the holidays.
If you are feeling joyous, why not spread the wealth around? Finally, I wish for everyone that the brightest lights of the holidays – peace, joy and love – be yours this season. In light and love, Gary
P.S. Let’s try to support each other more during these upcoming holidays!”
With gratitude for Gary’s insightful words… and my heartfelt Christmas and holiday blessings to all.
The above “miracle photo” was taken by my friend, Sharon Spector, a Sarasota, Florida-based photographer who is passionate about the unexpected moments and whimsy in life through bright colors and a joie de vivre. She studied photography at Jeff Bernier’s Photography Studio in Montmartre, Paris. To see more of her work, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
COMING IN JANUARY-EMPOWERING YOURSELF THROUGH GROUP COACHING
My recent appearance on CBS-TV is directly related to the dream I placed on my vision board for becoming a nationally recognized expert on worthiness. In fact, 90 percent of the dreams I have placed on my vision boards in the past three years have come true. Why? I incorporate neuroscience and other unique tools in creating my vision boards and spend time getting VERY CLEAR beforehand.
I would like to help you do the same, using the power of group energy to accelerate the process.
BRINGING YOUR DREAMS TO LIFE in 2021
“Harnessing the Power of the Vision Board Using Neuroscience”
…Creating anew beyond just the pictures
(Via my new ZOOM group coaching class)
Sunday, January 17, 2021
3 p.m. EST
Special introductory session, $25
SIGN UP EARLY as this group coaching session is expected to fill up fast, by emailing email@example.com.
A subsequent, four-session (February to May) monthly group program to follow: “Using the Vision Board as a Catalyst for Change”—Opening the door to expanding your life in unlimited ways, and staying on track with your dreams. (Price to be determined later based on the size of group.)
I am offering “Gift Certificates of Self-Care” for individual phone or private Zoom coaching sessions (in addition to my six-session packages), per the request of my clients who have enjoyed purchasing these for their family, friends and colleagues. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to learn more.
Gail Kauranen Jones is an intuitive coach, gifted wordsmith and inspiring teacher who has been leading others through transformation for more than twenty years. She is the author of two books, Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living, and To Hell and Back…Healing Your Way through Transition. Both books were met with rave reviews on Amazon and elsewhere.
She recently appeared as a guest “worthiness coach” on CBS TV’s award-winning talk show The Doctors and on Sirius FM Radio. Her articles and “tips” on worthiness have also appeared several times in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper.
She has taught many leading-edge workshops at top spas and wellness centers. She now leads Zoom group coaching programs and is a guest speaker at many related events.
Gail lives a passionate and simple life writing, hiking, connecting in meaningful ways, aligning in joyful collaboration and thriving in nature.