Don’t settle

“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined…to strengthen each other…to be at one with each other in silent memories.”

~ George Eliot


Becoming open-hearted is one of the greatest gifts we can give others and ourselves.

Letting go of the protective guard, from earlier hurts, is no easy task.   It takes time to learn to trust again, throw away extensive lists of “must-haves,” and to honor our feelings.

Four key feelings are the basis of a healthy relationship as noted in my previous blog on attracting right relationship.

We also each have a responsibility to do the inner work to make ourselves ready and emotionally available to another.

If you have ever been in relationship with a closed down person, you know how painful it can be to feel like a cement wall stands between you and the other withholding person’s heart.

No matter what other offerings someone has—whether they are fun, attractive, or successful—if they are shut down, you will not be nurtured and cared for fully in the ways you deserve through a deeper emotional connection.

Choosing not to settle can be tough because sometimes it means we have to wait longer to be with those who also have done the work of making themselves ready for love.

Today, I would like to inspire all those hoping to love again, with this story:

Last month, 54-year-old motivational speaker Lisa Nichols became engaged to her boyfriend, Marcellus.

They met as friends 10 years ago, when Lisa was going through some trying times, following an abusive marriage years before.

And, for those who don’t know her story, Lisa was once a struggling single mom living on public assistance. Today, besides her gifts as an inspirational speaker, she is a millionaire entrepreneur, best-selling author, and a humanitarian.

Know your worthiness

In announcing her engagement on Instagram, here is what she said:

“Don’t settle. It’s worth the wait.”

Her message of worthiness aligns with my coaching platform:

“I dated other people but I wouldn’t go all the way. I knew. My soul felt that I would know. I would know like I know and I know with everything in my fiber, with everything in my being that I waited for a very good reason–that I have the partner for me, who is worthy of me, and who I’m worthy of. I’ve done the work on myself. He’s done the work on himself, and so I’m just grateful. I’m excited. I’m overwhelmed.”

The importance of self-love

She also shared a message for men and women who are waiting for the right person:

“Don’t lower your bar. Keep working on YOU. But most importantly, don’t let your future pay for your past. Open up to love again. I didn’t think I would open up like this to love again. Fall madly in love with you and then be ready for someone else to love you. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God for allowing my heart to heal from past unpleasant experiences so that I could allow my fiancé to step into my life.”

Speaking shortly after announcing her engagement, she said, “This is a very important moment and I wouldn’t have gotten here had I not started working on Lisa and forgave Lisa for her past choices and her picks. And released other people and didn’t hold their energy in my anger. I’m grateful not just because a man loves me enough to want me to be his wife, but because I loved me enough to get out of every single unhealthy relationship that wasn’t worthy of me and wait.”

Claiming your worthiness, and clearing past blocks, is a process that I have guided clients through for decades. To learn more about my six-week coaching packages, on “Opening your heart for love,” “Conscious dating,” or “Creating a new mindset for living and thriving,” email

To stepping it up in love,


 P.S.—PAMPER YOURSELF this week.  I have a special, free gift for all of you, if you click on the home page of my website,, on the right side under WHAT’S NEW: my first GUIDED MEDITATION ON CLAIMING YOUR WORTHINESS.

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I created this meditation to also help those newly diagnosed, for claiming one’s worthiness to live can extend longevity, as detailed in my book, Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living.

Judy Miller, a friend and talented photographer, captured the touching photo above, of a young couple in love, at a local art museum.



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  • !Maria Tropp says:

    What a beautiful gift it is to receive a guided meditation on CLAIMING YOUR WORTHINESS from Gail. This meditation is filled with words of love and support from someone who really cares and made it her life’s mission to help others!!! This, along with helping tips included in the meditation delivered by Gail’s soothing voice, really helps to anchor one’s self and be open to embrace the message of worthiness. Thank you Gail Kauranen Jones!!!

    • Gail Kauranen Jones says:

      Maria: It’s joy for me to learn my meditation had such an impact on you…thank you for your beautiful words. Keep doing the meditation daily, and the action steps I recommend, and you will notice shifts into an elevated way of being–living from a greater sense of worthiness. With love and gratitude, Gail

  • Lynn Marn says:

    Thank you Gail for your ongoing powerful and inspirational wisdom on worthiness!

    “Today I allow myself to know that I am worthy!”……Standing in gratitude for your beautiful meditation! Your soothing voice and messages on worthiness resonate deep within my soul. A wonderful reminder on how my No’s make room for more aligned Yes’s!

    Celebrating your worthiness in sharing your passion and life’s work.

    • Gail Kauranen Jones says:

      Thanks, Lynn: I created that meditation also with the hope that many would listen to give themselves 13 minutes of “me time.” We all deserve at least that amount of time daily to go within, tune in and just be. And, for those who like to “do,” I share exercises to help strengthen the experience, and integrate a great sense of worthiness. They really work if you do them daily:) Here’s to making more room for Yeses! With love and gratitude, Gail

  • Diane says:

    Gail, I really enjoyed your meditation on claiming your worthiness! Your soothing, kind voice took me away to a place where I could relax and step into powerful suggestions of love, connection and fulfillment. Thank you for the work you do in helping us find our inner peace and living a life of health, joy and love!

    • Gail Kauranen Jones says:

      You are most welcome, Diane. And, thank you for appreciating my work, and passion to share. We are here to live our best lives. The key is not to focus on external circumstances, but to go within and access our innate gifts, talents, worthiness and wholeness. It’s all there, right now, to be found. We must make time to listen to it, and stay focused on what we want, not on what is appearing in our lives. It takes vigilance to rewire the brain, and is well worth the effort. Plus, we need to make “space for grace,” as I repeatedly say to ALLOW for the bigger picture to unfold. Meditation is one of the most impactful ways to do that. With love and gratitude, Gail

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