Giving TLC to yourself and others

“You have to be willing to give up the life you planned, and instead, greet the life that is waiting for you.” ~ Joseph Campbell

Of all the lessons I have learned in transforming my life beyond cancer, these ones below stick out the most for adding some TLC (Tender Loving Care):

  1. Claim your worthiness to LIVE and THRIVE.
  2. Learn to receive.
  3. Forgive. Clinging to hatred, rage, or resentment can certainly derail your health and contribute to disease. Holding grievances also blocks prosperity.
  4. Accept (and give) nurturance and loving support.
  5. Let go of being stoic. Stuffing/repressing your needs and wants, to “look good on the outside,” is a sure way NOT to get your needs met. Exhaustion—and even resentment or loneliness—often come from “doing it all” with a stiff upper lip.
  6. Risk being vulnerable, with discernment of who to trust. Vulnerability opens us to more meaningful connections and deeper intimacy. Also, being seen, heard, acknowledged, and validated by another helps us strengthen our innate worthiness.
  7. Ask for help.
  8. Set boundaries by learning to say “no,” valuing your time and knowing your priorities.
  9. Surround yourself with people who light you up—and who have the CAPACITY to “be there” for you through the highs and lows.
  10. Train your mind to serve only love—find the vibration of love, bring it to life, and embody it. Invite love into the empty spaces of your life. (This brilliant teaching comes from Dr. Sue Morter, an international speaker, bestselling author, as well as energy medicine and biogenetics pioneer.)

These suggestions hold true for anyone seeking to create a new mindset for living an upgraded life.

Today, I’d like to gift you with a more in-depth look at self-care and transformation, providing some FREE live coaching to you in my “Summer Wrap-Up #4,” (the fourth in a five-part series of podcast interviews done these past few months) with host/producer Mike DiCioccio of Mike’d Up!

Pamper yourself, or grab a friend or a loved one, and tune in to this short, 38-minute interview to see how you can more rapidly shift your life.


Also, with October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I’d like to share a few other insights (rarely seen in the media craze this month) and resources about prevention, as well as healing and supporting someone through cancer:

  • The gift you can give a loved one touched by cancer: PAY ATTENTION MANY MONTHS and EVEN YEARS LATER (as I also suggest you do by checking in with someone who lost a loved one) with extra tender loving care. Look beyond how someone appears as they start reinventing themselves post cancer. It’s often a very lonely internal journey, entailing grieving the old life before the new one is created.  For some, a cancer diagnosis changes the psyche, with a loss of innocence, and having to face one’s mortality for the first time.  There can be an extra sense of fragility going forward, yet to those who know the survivor, they may think once the cancer is gone, everything is fine.  Rarely is anyone “the same” again.  Fear of recurrence lives within for many, which can also ignite one to grab life in new ways.  My mantra became “SAY YES TO LIFE,” which gave me the courage to move cross country to re-create in a new environment.
  • Whether one uses conventional or alternative medicine, or a combination of both, one needs to release the emotional stressors that may have contributed to the disease. (That’s what I do as a coach using EFT and other skills I learned training with Dr. Joe Dispenza, world renowned for his work in neuroscience, using the mind to heal the
    body).  Chemotherapy, radiation, and other drugs, however helpful they may be to some, don’t release the stressors.
    Learn more in my book, Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living:
  • Most conventional doctors aren’t trained in the emotional components of a disease (like how one’s childhood/trauma impact getting cancer, as discussed by Dr. Gabor Maté, who is highly respected). He says he can tell who will get cancer based on their childhood.  He has many videos on YouTube, along with insights on health, addiction and connection, in his recently released book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture By Gabor Maté:

Every challenge—whether it is cancer, the loss of a loved one or some other life-altering event—is an opportunity to seize life in a new way.

Still, take the time to go within, and sort through what you are letting go of, to make room for the new.

Be patient with yourself, and those you love.  Answers come often in silence. Trust grace will find its way to you. Keep your heart open.

With love and gratitude,


My friend Patty Duffey, CEO of Performers on the Go, captured this glorious fall photo above while traveling to one of her singer-songwriter’s events.



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  • Doug Campbell says:

    So Insightful as always!
    Such great advice for all of us to follow!
    My biggest challenge is to ask for help, since that opens up my vulnerability.
    As you so poignantly point out, that it is through vulnerability, that we are better able to create those deeper feelings of connection and intimacy!
    So true on so many levels!

    • Gail Kauranen Jones (“Coach Gail Jones”—Your worthiness expert) says:

      Thanks for your feedback, Doug–and kudos to you for opening up to more vulnerability (and acknowledging your challenges with asking for help). It’s worth the risk-the greatest riches in life come from our genuine and meaningful relationships. Reciprocity of giving and receiving strengthens them. Blessings to you, Gail

  • Bev says:

    Gail, Very sage advice and well written, as usual. I will take ALL your advice to heart. I learned to finally ask for help and receive when I broke my shoulder years ago and learned that we are not alone. As for your very first tip “Claim your worthiness to LIVE and THRIVE,” I strive to remember that every day!

    • Gail Kauranen Jones (“Coach Gail Jones”—Your worthiness expert) says:

      Bev, I appreciate your compliment, especially as it comes from another writer:) It’s wonderful that you learned to ask for help and continue to seize the day, thriving in your unique ways. Blessings, Gail

  • Beautiful article, Gail. The Joseph Campbell quote at the top of your article is one of my favorites and one that I do my best to live by everyday. Your 10 insights will serve all of us greatly as we take them into our heart and apply them in our lives. Wonderful information and resources to help those going through cancer, as well as those who are supporting them through a challenging time. Thoroughly enjoyed the podcast with Mike, too!

    • Gail Kauranen Jones (“Coach Gail Jones”—Your worthiness expert) says:

      Thank you, Linda. Joseph Campbell had SO MUCH wisdom, particularly for these transitory times. Glad you enjoyed my insights from my 10-year journey healing from breast cancer. The emotional process–and how we change internally after a diagnosis–is so often and easily overlooked. Blessings, Gail

  • Don Keath says:

    Hi Gail,
    I enjoyed reading your 10 points to ”CLAIM your WORTHINESS ” and particularly enjoyed your comments (on Mike’s interview) -about how you: ”Customize every Session” to remove a client’s block to success with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I know your specific words only come from years of experience. Well Done ! The Best to you, Don Keath

    • Gail Kauranen Jones (“Coach Gail Jones”—Your worthiness expert) says:

      Thank you, Don: And I appreciate you recognizing the intuitive insights I receive from years of experience, which I consider my “PhD in healing.” Life lived, with reflection and time spent in solitude, often offers much more wisdom than specific trainings. I’m grateful for the “downloads” I receive to guide and mentor others–for true happiness comes best in service. Blessings, Gail

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