Nurturing a meltdown

“It’s like a mother, when the baby is crying, she picks up the baby and she holds the baby tenderly in her arms. Your pain, your anxiety, is your baby. You have to take care of it. You have to go back to yourself, to recognize the suffering in you, embrace the suffering, and you get a relief.”

 ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Increasingly, I am witnessing clients experiencing a shorter tolerance when things go wrong.

Something that may have rattled them slightly before now feels more like it is pushing them over the edge. I have hit those points myself of late. It took a deck infested with hornets that no one seemed to be able to remove correctly, website issues and a few trying conversations, to reach what felt like a tipping point of angst.

Know this: There is an underlying anxiety that many are carrying during these challenging times in history.

As recently quoted by Dr. Amy Cuddly and JillEllyn Riley in the The Washington Post:

“If you’re experiencing increased sadness or anxiety along with an urge to dramatically change something about your life—some of the markers of pandemic flux syndrome—be assured you are not alone. Many people are feeling such tensions. Although human beings are more resilient than we generally appreciate, it will take time for many of us to stably recover, to reflect and to recalibrate.”

When you reach uncomfortable edges, there are a few things you can immediately do:

  1. Slow down, feel the feelings of overwhelm, and be extra gentle and kind with yourself. Allow for a good cry, call a friend to vent, go for a walk, or take a bath. It’s not a time to push forth; it’s a time to lay back and practice exquisite self-care. Stopping to feel is OK, and can actually be one of the most “productive” things you do. Let the feelings flow through your body, gently like a river.
  2. Find someone who has the capacity to truly be fully present and emotionally available, who can listen to your pain and angst without judgment. Choose someone who has the ability to see, hear, validate and acknowledge you. We need people in our lives who can hold us in both our pain and our power, with love and compassion.
  3. Forgive yourself for your humanness. Sometimes life IS tough, and you don’t need to flip into a positivity mindset. Yes, we manifest new outcomes in our lives by getting in elevated emotions (joy, feeling grateful, love, to name a few), then setting clear intentions, as I share from my training in neuroscience. The goal is stay in those emotions for at least 15 minutes a day, as you are rewiring your brain in optimal ways, not every moment of your life. Cut yourself some slack for off days as you learn to embrace all your emotions. There is a difference between feeling and releasing them, and dwelling on the negative ones too long.
  4. Get out in nature, and allow yourself to be soothed by a soft breeze, a colorful fall leaf, the sounds of birds or the solitude of your being.

Learn more about my individual and group coaching programs for empowering yourself through challenging times, by emailing gailjones@claimyourworthiness.com.

TO JOIN MY NEW ONLINE COMMUNITY: On Oct. 6th, I am launching my first small group coaching class to build an intimate community for personal growth and development.

Increase your sense of worthiness through “belonging.” I’ll be adding new topics each month. You can join once or attend monthly. View my events page to learn more.

And I love this definition of community:

“When we don’t have to leave any part of ourselves behind in order to feel at ease in the presence of others.”

~ Rev. angel Kyodo Williams (and first name is a small a)

Looking forward to meeting some of you online soon.  Getting out of isolation is so critical to optimal health and well-being, Plus, together we are stronger.

Blessings,

Gail

I captured this photo of a cloud shaped like a heart on a day when I really needed a hug, and was thinking of loved ones far away.

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