Polishing your worthiness

“It’s time to shine like a diamond, showing your unique brilliance to the world by polishing away the old beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you. Own your worthiness this year.”
~ Gail Kauranen Jones

As we enter the new year ready to shine in new ways, I am sharing a few insights on worthiness.

1) Confessions/Insights From a Former Over-Giver:

You don’t necessarily get back for going the extra mile. While you are serving others, they may love the added attention you give. And, because you are conscientious and thrive on delivering excellence, and delight in caring for others, you keep giving more than expected.

There is nothing wrong with giving for the pure joy of giving, staying detached, and not asking for anything in return (giving-to-get doesn’t work).

Here’s where it gets sticky: You ask for the favor of giving to be returned because you need something from another, for just a few minutes of their time, not necessarily to match what you did for them. Suddenly, you’re on the back burner. They don’t respond in a timely manner, or at all. You don’t quite mean as much to them as when you were serving at high levels meeting their needs before. And the shock hits: This relationship wasn’t reciprocal. You may in fact have been used or taken advantage of—and worse, you allowed it to happen even though you thought you were acting from the goodness of your heart.

I remember when I was first dating post-divorce, and meeting many men in transition, who later confessed that they loved that I was a coach (and some sought me out because of that) to help them through their angst of starting over. UGH! OUCH! All I wanted was to be a woman dating, not their therapist, or “the understanding one” to help them move into the single life. I needed some tender loving care too. Being used never feels good. Fortunately, I also have dated caring and thoughtful men with a generous spirit, who gave back to me.

Sadly, over-givers tend to attract takers, much like empaths magnetize narcissists who target and/or manipulate others who have a highly sensitive and caring nature.

Deep down, most of us want to be loved for WHO we are and reciprocated accordingly. If you’re living a life of service, which is the true road to happiness, be sure that you are served, supported, and loved too.

LEARNING TO RECEIVE IS KEY TO WORTHINESS especially for over-givers, as explained in this article from
Psychology Today. To do so, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to take in, accept help or support, versus trying to stay in control by always giving.

Listen to this song by Grammy award-winner India Arie if you need a reminder of your innate worthiness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws8PLGQXokQ

2) The Value and Wisdom of Age:

Whether you are a recruiter, HR manager or someone in mid-life, please read my recent article in BRAINZ Magazine. We are all WORTHY of being hired for our gifts and talents, no matter our age.

Plus, check out my personal essay within the article, where I share birthday reflections of my life lessons learned (and I trust there is a message in there for YOU):
https://www.brainzmagazine.com/post/the-wisdom-of-age-be-an-age-smart-employer

3) You Are Worthy of Investing in You (the best investment you can make):

I have a couple spots left for my 1:1 coaching program for 2023, where you will learn to clear
those limiting beliefs and patterns around over-giving, and much more, to instill a strong sense
of worthiness, from which to flourish in all areas of life.

Register by January 31st to secure your spot. For a complimentary, 30-minute consult to see if
we’re a fit for working together, sign up here:
https://calendly.com/gailkauranenjones

Here are a few recent testimonials of my work:



I am excited to see all the new ways each of us will shine this year. The world so very much needs all of our gifts.

With deep gratitude… and to LOVING BIG (my phrase for the new year),

Gail

P.S. I’d love to hear your word, phrase, or intention for 2023 in the comments section, “LEAVE A REPLY” below.

 

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  • gail says:

    A dear friend of mine wrote, after reading this blog post, of the sudden loss of her friend in a tragic accident. She shared at length the love for her friend, and what a beautiful person she was. She ended her note to me with these sentences:

    “We are still in shock and so very sad. For me, it brings impermanence into full focus and the need to serve my higher purpose, letting go of any bullshit standing in the way of living a beautiful life. We never know when it is our turn to exit this planet, here’s to owning our worthiness and making a difference!”

    I share those thoughts with her permission…to inspire you to know the power of NOW, and of YOU. Blessings, Gail

  • Amber says:

    I absolutely love your phrase of the year, “Loving Big.” It took me some time to pick my word of the year, but after much thought, I have picked the word prosper or prosperous. When most people think about the word prosperous they associate it with finances. In this instance think of flourishing in success in all areas of your life. Gail, thank you so much for such a thought-provoking article. Wishing you all the continued success you deserve.

    • Gail Kauranen Jones (“Coach Gail Jones”—Your worthiness expert) says:

      Amber: I love your word for the year, “PROSPEROUS,” and how you defined it for yourself. It will be exciting to hear of the new, expanded ways your life unfolds, and thanks for your good wishes on mine. Blessings, Gail

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