“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”—Sonya Friedman
Called to shed energies that leave us feeling smaller than what we know our worth to be, there are times in life when we must say “no” to situations, opportunities or people before us and opt to move on.
We often get hints that it is time for a “no” when we sense we are settling for less than we deserve. Other times, we have simply outgrown one particular way of being in the world and are ready to more broadly extend ourselves.
Sometimes we receive the messages gently, when a wise inner voice encourages us to step out of the comfort zone of the familiar. Like the butterfly prompted to leave the cocoon, we know our time to soar and live into a greater sense of bigness has arrived. Those who join us must be ready to fly, or at least enjoy watching us prosper in new ways.
Other times, we are jolted forward when others do not sense our value, treating our presence or contributions matter-of-factly, without any appreciation. Whether it is the date who does not think to bring a flower, a card or something of thought and care on a significant occasion, or the employer who inadequately compensates us for our work, the lack of acknowledgment can feel harsh and insensitive. Despite the hurt, we can bless these others as we let them go, silently thanking those for helping us claim our own worth.
Every “no” is frequently a gateway to a bigger “yes.” Trust that in the waiting period between the old and new there will be fresh opportunities for growth. Some may come in small, incremental steps that help us instill an even greater sense of worthiness and confidence. Others may require we take giant leaps, after readying ourselves to play a bigger game.
Either method of delivery will help us stand in our value if we remain loyal to ourselves and our vision for our most joyful and fulfilling life.
BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK:
1. I allow myself to trust that in saying “no,” I open to the right “yes.”
2. I allow myself to stand in my value by being loyal to myself.
Beth Shedd’s photo of her silhouette reminds us to stand tall in claiming our value.
FALL COACHING PACKAGES:
- “Filling Up The Empty Nest” (a six-week coaching package done by phone) is now available.
- “Welcoming New Possibilities: Letting Go/Letting In” (a three-session coaching package walking the sands of Crane’s Beach) is available through the end of October.
To sign up or learn more, contact Gail at 978-887-1911 or GailJones@SupportMatters.com

Gail Kauranen Jones is an intuitive coach, gifted wordsmith and inspiring teacher who has been leading others through transformation for more than twenty years. She is the author of two books, Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living, and To Hell and Back…Healing Your Way through Transition. Both books were met with rave reviews on Amazon and elsewhere.
She recently appeared as a guest “worthiness coach” on CBS TV’s award-winning talk show The Doctors and on Sirius FM Radio. Her articles and “tips” on worthiness have also appeared several times in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper.
She has taught many leading-edge workshops at top spas and wellness centers. She now leads Zoom group coaching programs and is a guest speaker at many related events.
Gail lives a passionate and simple life writing, hiking, connecting in meaningful ways, aligning in joyful collaboration and thriving in nature.