Standing in Our Value

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”—Sonya Friedman

Called to shed energies that leave us feeling smaller than what we know our worth to be, there are times in life when we must say “no” to situations, opportunities or people before us and opt to move on.

We often get hints that it is time for a “no” when we sense we are settling for less than we deserve. Other times, we have simply outgrown one particular way of being in the world and are ready to more broadly extend ourselves.

Sometimes we receive the messages gently, when a wise inner voice encourages us to step out of the comfort zone of the familiar. Like the butterfly prompted to leave the cocoon, we know our time to soar and live into a greater sense of bigness has arrived. Those who join us must be ready to fly, or at least enjoy watching us prosper in new ways.

Other times, we are jolted forward when others do not sense our value, treating our presence or contributions matter-of-factly, without any appreciation. Whether it is the date who does not think to bring a flower, a card or something of thought and care on a significant occasion, or the employer who inadequately compensates us for our work, the lack of acknowledgment can feel harsh and insensitive. Despite the hurt, we can bless these others as we let them go, silently thanking those for helping us claim our own worth.

Every “no” is frequently a gateway to a bigger “yes.” Trust that in the waiting period between the old and new there will be  fresh opportunities for growth. Some may come in small, incremental steps that help us instill an even greater sense of worthiness and confidence. Others may require we take giant leaps, after readying ourselves to play a bigger game.

Either method of delivery will help us stand in our value if we remain loyal to ourselves and our vision for our most joyful and fulfilling life.


1. I allow myself to trust that in saying “no,” I open to the right “yes.”

2. I allow myself to stand in my value by being loyal to myself.

Beth Shedd’s photo of her silhouette reminds us to stand tall in claiming our value.


  • “Filling Up The Empty Nest” (a six-week coaching package done by phone) is now available.
  • “Welcoming New Possibilities:  Letting Go/Letting In” (a three-session coaching package walking the sands of Crane’s Beach) is available through the end of October.

To sign up or learn more, contact Gail at 978-887-1911 or





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  • Meg says:

    Gail – I sent this to my daughter this morning. She really needs to hear this message and I think it is very hard for teenagers to learn to stand up for their worth. Thanks for helping me get the message to her! Meg

    • Gail says:

      Meg: I am thrilled you forwarded my blog to your daughter. The earlier we can learn, especially as women (who were often condiitioned as little girls to put others first at the expense of our own needs) to trust our gut instincts, honor our needs, and know our value, the more easily we will prosper personally and professionally. Your daughter is quite lucky to have an insightful mom like you. Gail

  • Marta says:

    This is your most brilliant post ever! What an incredible reminder to us all! Thank You, Marta

  • Gail:

    Like you I am a professional working with the Baby Boom generation. As your blog inspires Boomers, I try to build awareness in boomers though a local cable access television show called Your Money Your Life. A show on which you will soon be appearing!!

    As Boomers prepare for the next stage of their lives, they need the steady, compassionate and caring guidance that you offer them both as a coach and a writer.

    Boomers no doubt are in transition and, in this economic recession, are reinventing themselves. To be truly successful in this transition and thereby prosper, Boomers will need the inspiration and guidance found on your Blog

    Gail, keep up the good work!

    • Gail says:

      Ramsey: I thank you for your kind words on the transition process in which I lead people through in re-creating their lives. As you know, I am especially passionate about helping clients transform limiting, subsconscious (hidden) beliefs formed in early years. I look forward to sharing my insights with the viewers of your show later this fall. You are providing a valuable public service to so many baby boomers. I sense you also deliver your legal and financial expertise with compassion. Gail

  • Lauren says:

    Gail, you have a magical sense each week; your blogs resonate with what is going on in my life. This is so true; and the positive spin about “every no frequently being a gateway to a bigger yes”. Why do we tend to stay in situations that don’t deserve our energy? I save every blog that you write and re-read them frequently to keep me on a positive, energetic and creative path!

    • Gail says:

      I love your words “magical sense.” Thanks for sharing those. The reason we sometimes stay in situations that don’t deserve our energy is that our ego likes to direct us to what is familiar and comfortable based on past conditioning. And, sometimes we fool ourselves into believing that the situation is better than it is for fear of risking moving forward into the unknown (or being “alone”). Yet, many of our gifts and life treasures come from walking through those “empty spaces” between the old and new. The more we tune into our inner wisdom and strengthen our intuitive skills, the more courage we find to move forward. Gail

  • Beth Scanzani says:

    Hi Gail…I love your response to Lauren and couldn’t agree more! In the space we create by letting go of what no longer serves us, miracles can appear. Thanks for the work you do! – Beth

  • BrANDY says:

    Gail, this has hit a nerve with me, for before me I have some big decisions that could change the course of my life and my children’s lives. It has always been comforting to me to know that other people have faced these same challenges. The final words of encouragement are helping me to get to a final, positive, decision. Thank you!

    • Gail says:

      Brandy: I am glad you found some comfort, support and encouragement in my words. I wish you well in making those big decisions for yourself and your children. Gail

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