“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly be that kind of a friend.”
–Mark Twain
Sometimes, especially when we are in a major life transition or growth spurt, the people in our lives change. We might, for example, need to let go of those who are negative to make room for those who are more positive.
Like when an elevator is operating between floors and it is not quite your time to get off, there is often a waiting period for new people to arrive who are aligned with the newly evolved you. For many, that waiting period can be a solitary time of deep inner growth.
Then one day you discover, like me and many of my clients have, that you are ready to leave the cocoon of re-creation, step out onto a new floor and suddenly there is a slew of new people before you.
The new elevator level has become for me a time for great discernment in carefully choosing who will be a part of my life going forward, as described in this Forbes article.
As a mark of transformation, it also can be intriguing to observe the new players who arrive. Those placed before us are a reflection of some part of us–or our inner state of mind.
People we admire often have attributes that we may want to develop or enrich within ourselves. Even those who trigger us in negative ways are mirroring back some part of our being, whether it be a wound from the past or a weakness we may dislike to own.
Yet, as we do the inner work to raise our self-esteem and state of consciousness, we begin attracting a different caliber person–or deepen our appreciation for and connections with those who already are in alignment with our values, goals and aspirations.
I love all the intelligent, warm, kind, fun, soulful, healthy and generous people parading before me these days and cherish the friends and associates who waited patiently while I took on another inner growth challenge.
For as the wise author Alan Cohen, who encourages people to “settle up” says: “People who pressure you usually deserve a ‘no.’ People who are patient with you usually deserve a ‘yes.’
Looking forward to adding a few more “Yeses” to my life this year in Newburyport and beyond.
SUPPORT MATTERS’ BELIEF TIPS OF THE MONTH:
1. I allow myself to be discerning in choosing with whom to surround myself.
2. I allow myself to risk going the next level up, accepting my soul’s prompting to grow.
3. I allow myself to be in joy with others, sharing in the mutual gifts of love, respect and friendship.
Gail Kauranen Jones is an intuitive coach, gifted wordsmith and inspiring teacher who has been leading others through transformation for more than twenty years. She is the author of two books, Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living, and To Hell and Back…Healing Your Way through Transition. Both books were met with rave reviews on Amazon and elsewhere.
She recently appeared as a guest “worthiness coach” on CBS TV’s award-winning talk show The Doctors and on Sirius FM Radio. Her articles and “tips” on worthiness have also appeared several times in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper.
She has taught many leading-edge workshops at top spas and wellness centers. She now leads Zoom group coaching programs and is a guest speaker at many related events.
Gail lives a passionate and simple life writing, hiking, connecting in meaningful ways, aligning in joyful collaboration and thriving in nature.